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Lady Booted Out of Walmart for Wearing Bikini Top

When I think of lady walking around in a bikini top, I usually think of some gorgeous number strutting her stuff, making all the men drool (some women too, I'm sure...)

But when you add "Walmart" into the mix, you're probably not going to find a lot of sexiness there.  If you tally up all the cleavage you see at a typical Walmart, about 35% of it is back cleavage...

In fact, if you've never been to People of Walmart, I recommend you go there now to see for yourself (not on a full stomach though... you've been warned...)

Making news this last Thursday was a story from Portland about a woman being kicked out of her local Walmart for wearing a bikini top and shorts.  Stories on both sides differ, as Walmart's official stance was she was being rude and bitchy to fellow customers.

The lady's side of the story?  They just couldn't handle her sexiness... see for yourself:

What say you, Idahomies?  Was she wrong for going into Walmart wearing too little?  Was she wrong for wearing that in the first place?  Feel free to sound off below...


Basking in the Spotlight, and Paying it Forward

I haven't done one of these in a while.  I haven't earned one of these in a while!  Maybe I'm losing my touch?

I received this award this week from not one but TWO bloggers!  Both writers are absolutely amazing and I felt honored when they chose me.

First was Heather from My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream and Blogger Idol fame.  She is a fantastic writer, and does not let anyone dictate her actions.  She gets a boatload of respect from me because she writes what she wants to write about.  A recent post talked about her religious views.  I can speak first-hand that this topic is extremely controversial, and people often lose followers when your views are different.  She does it anyway.  She will not be swayed.  She is awesome.

Next was Mama Spaghetti from The Spaghetti Westerner.  She chose me as one of her five to write about for her Blogger Idol assignment.  I was the only male of the bunch, so I represented the penis population with pride.  Her humor is amazing, and I love every post she writes (even when they're reeking of mommy-blogger).  She keeps things fresh, keeps things funny, and will keep you smiling.

I have received recognition from good bloggers, and I have received recognition from great bloggers.  This is the latter, and I couldn't be happier.

And now, as the award suggests, I get to pay it forward.  I pick 5 bloggers to mention, tell you why I love them, and then you all go follow and adore them (and they pimp the shit out of me on twitter & their blogs, right???)

My 5 are:

Leeanna at Can We Have A New Witch?  Ours Melted.  Pick any three posts of hers at random and you will instantly be hooked.  She tells it like it is, snarks with the best of them, and is probably dancing around in her skivvies as we speak.  Her hubs is out of town, so she's going wild.

The Simple Dude at Simple Dude in a Complex World.  He writes entertaining material.  He writes books to help bloggers improve their game. (on sale now)  He's so damn awesome, he was picked by blogger as a Blog of Note.  He was my benchmark when I started blogging, and he needs to be on everyone's list of blogs to read.

TFV at The Frisky Virgin.  Why her?  She's a virgin and that's ok.  It goes against the norm of society for someone her age, but who the fuck cares?  She waves her hymen like a proud flag, proclaiming her awesomeness for all to see.  Oh, and she loves sports, which makes her cooler than Chilly Willy.

Jillsmo at Yeah. Good Times.  She's a mom of two, and doesn't let any bit of shit slow her down.  She sees the humor in everything, has become a 'go to' resource on the web for autistic children, and... wait for it... she's a reddit geek.  If you're not laughing within 45 seconds of reading her blog, there's something wrong with you.

Last but not least, we have Zombie at Zombies Everywhere.  He's the ultimate follower.  He comments on every post, was the first to jump into my advertising idea, and IT GETS BETTER!! has a great blog about everything zombie.  Humor, tattoos, survival guides and everything in between.  Variety is the spice of life, and his blog is very spicy, to say the least.

So there you are.  5 to follow if you're not already, plus the 2 that bestowed this award upon me.  All great bloggers, all great writers, all worthy of recognition.


Urban Exploration - Welcome to Atomic City, Idaho

When venturing into a city named Atomic City, you expect some pizzazz.  You expect some flair.  Or maybe at least a tongue-in-cheek satire of radioactive man...

The goggles... they do NOTHING...

Not a one. But what I did find was interesting nonetheless.

I found a city that looked abandoned.  Like everyone in the town simply disappeared, leaving buildings, farmland and crops behind.

According to 2000 census data, Atomic City Idaho has a population of 25.  Honestly, that was about 20 more than I would have guessed.  The only thing that showed any signs of life was the fire department.  New asphalt, newish building, but that was it.

So many abandoned buildings, so many homes that looked as if they were left behind in a moment's notice...

A nearby farm had dozens of bales of hay.  Stacked in piles and pyramids, that slowly began to rot and dissolve over the years.  Some were still formed in a bale, melting and dying.  Others were in a heap of rot and twine.

Wikipedia and news stories don't have any mention of a mass exodus, but the town tells a different story.  I wonder if it has anything to do with the reactor meltdown of the nearby nuclear plant, back in 1955?  That was 56 years ago...  this abandonment looks more recent.

Establishments like the Twin Buttes Bar look almost frozen in time.  While the doors were completely sealed shut, peeking in make me think the bar has only been abandoned for 10-20 years.  Not 56.  There isn't that thick layer of dust or cobwebs.  Granted, the elements can get inside, but the furniture and decorations look merely old.  Not ancient.

Homes.  Bars.  Businesses.  All emptied out.  A lot of items were left behind, as if the people left in a hurry.  This makes no sense at all.

{insert massive government cover-up conspiracy here, because I can't think of anything else}

Maybe one day this will all be considered historic land?  Like a museum of sorts?  Maybe that's why the fire building looks less than 5 years old.  Maybe that's why the asphalt looks recent.  Like 'this year' recent...

One interesting thing about Atomic City is their raceway, which is still used from time to time.  It even has a website, a facebook (with 198 likes, that's 173 more people than the population of the town...), and an upcoming race this weekend.  I'm tempted to go, to see this town of 25 hustling and bustling.

While the city was mostly abandoned, there were a few people out and about.  One older lady was mowing her lawn.  One gentleman was down a 100 yard road, riddled with "No trespassing" signs.  He was staring at me, almost daring me to cross his line in the sand.

I know better than to mess with boondock-townies with trespassing signs.  That's like asking for a shotgun sammich...

If you're ever in Southeast Idaho, and want to see a trippy abandoned town, I recommend Atomic City.  Take the I-15 to Blackfoot, and take US Highway 26 toward hell.  Drive to the middle of nowhere, take a left at the shoddy bar, and drive for about a mile.

And there you are.  The atomic ghost town of Eastern Idaho.

Welcome to Atomic City.  Where nobody can hear you scream...


Fantasy Football Time - Blogger Style

Yes, it's time.

Join my fantasy football league, and let's have some fun blogger on blogger action!

password is lostinidaho, if it prompts you.  There are 16 spots total (minus mine, so 15), so act fast!  The draft is currently scheduled for Sun Aug 28 11:00am MDT.

Any questions, please let me know.  Let's do this!!

Help me rock the vote!

As you may already know, I auditioned for Blogger Idol and failed.  Sometimes controversy is just that: controversial.  Oh well, no big deal.

However, there are still contestants in the competition.  One of which is Mama Spaghetti.  She is awesome, her blog is funny, and I want her to win.

I like her.

And she likes me too.  This week's theme for Blogger Idol is to give a shout out to blogs that inspire you.  I was on her list (read it here).  Because of her awesomeness, I have voted for her every week.  With this post of admiration, I'm going to step it up a little...

I'm going to campaign on her behalf.  (Look at me, endorsing a mommy blogger.  Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?  Good thing she's not a typical run-of-the-mill mommy blogger...)

Go vote for this week's post, and every week thereafter!  Make sure to vote Mama Spaghetti, and rocket her to the top of the charts!

To vote, go here, and click on Mama Spaghetti in the poll.  If you want to be fair and balanced, read through all the submissions (*chuckle*).

Oh, look!  Diddy's back!


Wordless Wednesday - Idaho Ingenuity

Found on a main street in Eastern Idaho...

...who wants to guess where the 'u' went???


What does my dog have in common with rural america?

Crop Dusting.

As I travel through the northwest, I pass by a lot of farmland.  Now and then I get to see crop dusting planes flying by, dumping pesticides or fertilizer on crops.  Watching these pilots dip and dive is a fascinating sight.

The sheer talent these people have make me want to get a pilots license, just so I can learn to do this.  Granted, I never plan on being a farmer, but simply having the skill to pilot a plane and to do aerial acrobatics would itself be a great reward.

One day.  One day I will fly a plane, just so I can say "look what I can do.

A bonus is being able to take pictures like these to show my boys.  They're 3 and 5, and love airplanes.  Telling them about crop dusters and showing pictures like this to them blows their minds.  Hopefully one day I'll be able to take them out into Idaho or Montana farmland and go "watch this, boys..."

Whether it's me controlling the plane, or just pointing out a pilot doing his thing, I know the boys will be absolutely floored.  To see a plane this close to you, this close to the ground... it's jaw-dropping.

So you're probably asking... what does this have to do with my dog?  Well, same words (crop dusting) but a different meaning.  Here is the definition of crop dusting from the urban dictionary:

This. Is. My dog.  Melody has some NASTY gas, and will walk into a room, squeak out a silent one, and walk away before it blasts my nose.  Either that or she'll be completely asleep and foofing away.  Recently my girlfriend and I were watching a movie.  She was exhausted and kept drifting away, falling asleep in my arms...

...then a scent would hit her nostrils.  Faster than you can scream "WAKE UP!" she would shoot straight up, look at the dog, and go "Melody, outside NOW!"  The dog wouldn't have it, and stayed put.

Now, when I want to, I could have some really ripe farts.  But this dog... THIS DOG blows my bowels out of the water.  I don't know how she does it... we feed her a premium food that isn't supposed to cause gas.  Maybe she's getting into something she isn't supposed to?

Regardless, I need to hang one of those pine-tree air fresheners off her tail, as close to her ass as I can get. This dog is just plain messed up...


The cookie monster helped make a South African Scot love me!

If you're not following A Daft Scots Lass, you really need to.  Gillian is brilliant, witty, has a gorgeous accent, and she's one of the few gingers I know that indeed has a soul.

DSL, as I like to call her, does a weekly contest called "Caption my freaky photo" where she puts up something bizarre, and we plonkers try to think of something witty to say.

Here was one recent entry:

My response to this picture?

Well, that comment worthy of Drake Sigar was the winner that week.  As the winner, Gillian sent me a small handful of goodies in the mail.  I received a letter of my awesomeness, a magnetic photo frame, and a temporary tattoo with the instruction of using it and sending her a picture for her blog.

Fun tattoo shenanigans?  I am SOOO game.

But sadly, a recent post states she's cleaning up her blog.  Family, business, and all that jazz. much for a rated-r (or worse) tattoo picture.  And I was tempted.

Well, being the silly guy I am, this is what I came up with:

I hope you like it, Gillian.  And if you want a chance to win some goodies and be immortalized on her blog with a daft tattoo, go there now!


Happy Pioneer Day to All Mormons!

If you live in Utah, you are enjoying a 3-day weekend this weekend.  For the rest of the world, it will be Monday as usual.


Today is Pioneer Day.

July 24th is a Mormon Holiday (and a state holiday in Utah) celebrating the entry of Brigham Young and other Mormon pioneers entering the Salt Lake Valley on July 24th, 1847.

The pioneers migrated west because of persecution and general bulling in Illinois and other parts of the United States.  In oversimplifying terms, the Mormons were running away from bullies.

The celebrations did not last for long, however.  Apparently Brigham Young told one too many 'yo mama' jokes as he was leaving.  In 1857, the US Army caught up with the LDS emigrants, and the Utah War began.  President Lincoln eventually intervened, and Pioneer Day was celebrated once again.

Betcha didn't know that Lincoln wasn't only responsible for ending slavery.  He also abolished mormon beat-downs, and probably invented Lincoln Logs as well...

In Utah, Pioneer Day is celebrated with rodeos, parades, fireworks, and tons of congestion.  Many reports from Salt Lake City say traffic congestion (and fatalities) are highest during July 4th and during Pioneer Day.

Those crazy mormon drivers....

For the other 49 states and the rest of the world, it's simply July 24th.  If you feel like showing some props to your mormon bretheren, here are some fun ways to do it:

  • Listen to Donny & Marie all day (I forget, which one's country, and which one's rock and roll?  Does it matter?)
  • No coffee or booze.  Drink lots of lemonade or root beer, and use words like "golly" and "gosh darnit."
  • Watch every mormon's favorite episode of South Park... and sing along!  (dum dum dum dum dum...)
  • Learn some fun mormon facts
Or, you know, just do your normal stuff and don't bother.  That's what I'm doing today...

So if you're LDS, happy Pioneer Day.  Enjoy your festivities, and try not to party too hard.  At least you didn't die of dysentery on the Oregon Trail... that's one thing to celebrate.  I guess...

Who won the mormon outfit?

Sugar Free!

Send me an email at to claim your prize!


What A Week

It's Saturday, and I'm happier than Howard dean at a political rally.

...and if you don't get the joke, I feel old.

This week marked a few milestones with my blog.  I posted my 200th post, had 666 followers of my blog (thus making me a helluva blogger) and sometime this weekend I will get my 50,000th page view.

My first post was on January 23rd, 2011.  That means today is my 6-month-iversary as well.


Thank you for all the love and support so far, and I'm hoping to make the next 6 months just as exciting (if not more).  Onward and upward!

Also, today is the last day to enter for the bear-costume giveaway.  Click on this link for your chance to enter!!


Urban Exploration - Welcome to Arco, Idaho

I am fascinated by blogs like Ghost Hunting Theories and Above the Norm who do Urban Exploration (or Urbex).  When the opportunity presented itself, I wanted to try this on my own...

Traveling to Boise for work, I decided to take the backroad and bypass the interstate.  I drove along route 20, which cuts a path through south-central Idaho, and takes you a lot of the older towns that have populations in the hundreds (or less).  One town I passed was Arco.

Arco was founded in 1901, and currently has a population sitting around 900.  In its prime, the city brimmed with over 1,500 people!  Sadly, there are more abandoned buildings and run-down businesses in Arco than there are people. 

One highlight of this town is the fact it was the first city ever powered by atomic energy, back in 1955.  It is also close to the Idaho National Laboratory, a nuclear testing site home to the only fatal reactor-meltdown in the US (back in 1961).  The INL is the main hub of employment in Southeast Idaho, and many Arco residents work at the site.

One interesting sight in Arco is number hill.  The local high school has a tradition of painting the graduating class' number on the hill, a tradition carried on since 1920.  As far as senior pranks go, this is pretty tame, but a 91 year old tradition is still pretty cool.

Sadly when driving through Arco, you're in and out of the town faster than you can sing Mambo #5.  With all the run-down businesses and houses nearby, I was hoping on doing some true Urbex, but all of the properties were fenced off and monitored.

Even something as simple as taking a picture of this abandoned house drew a patrol car, asking if I was planning to tresspass.  I told the officer "no, just taking pictures from the public road" and he left with a sneer.

Maybe I'll try the urbex thing again later, when I can find a place that isn't so heavily policed.  For a town of less than 1,000, there sure were a lot of law enforcement around....

10 miles east is a smaller town called Atomic City.  Maybe I'll go there next?


The Local Dungeon Master Is My FedEx Guy

I'm pretty geeky in my own right, but I think I have met my match in this guy...

I was at the local office supply retail outlet center place, and I had a few things to do.  Make copies, FedEx out my ka-busted laptop, etc.  I get to the copy/print center and I wait.  And wait.

Finally this dude comes out to help me.  He's about 6 feet tall, 6 feet around, and looks like the definition of a basement-dwelling nerd.

  • Scraggly neck-beard goin on...
  • Thick glasses, out of breath, wheezes and snorts a lot
  • Had a pin on his vest that said "Ask me about my cleric"
It took him nearly 10 minutes to finish whatever he was doing in the back (probably playing WoW) to come out and help me.  I get my copies, package my laptop to ship, and keep waiting for him to call me a "noob" or challenge me to a duel...

He had this interesting way of talking too.  Every sentence was ended with a grunt or sigh, like he was verbalizing his punctuation marks...

"Did you need these in black and white or in color, heh?"

"What is the destination zip code for this package, fmeh?"

"That will be $42.01 sir... huph."

Every. Single. Time.

I was tempted to agitate him to see if his punctuation grunts would get louder if I angered him...

"NO, sir... we do NOT take Staples rewards cards, HURF!"  and so on.

The conversation lasted about 10 minutes all in all, and it took every ounce of my strength not to chuckle or laugh or mock him (fmeh...).  I wonder if he just takes in too much air when he breathes (heef) and needs to let it out at the end of the sentence (foop) or whenever phrasing permits (yowm)?

meep meep meep...
All I know is I want to keep going back.  I need to record this guy and play it for you, so you can hear it for yourself.  Imagine actually playing Dungeons and Dragons with this dude for hours on end, listening to his grunts and exclamations...

"A-HA! (swif)  My magic missles damage your druid for 20 points! (whooph)  Aren't I a badass, (heef)?"

Or, imagine if this dude ever gets laid... (sorry ladies, for putting that mental image into your brain)


Life on the road

I'm more productive (work-wise) when I'm on the road.


It's 7:20pm, and I'm still working.

I'm in my hotel room, chillin on my bed.   A 'first look' special is on HBO, and I'm prepping for tomorrow.

I love coming home and relaxing.  I love going out and touring the cities I visit.  But more often than not, I do 12-hour days when I travel.

...the life of a sales rep...

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I am.

But are we going to have a season this year?

Am I going to win my Fantasy Football League again this year?

More importantly, who's up for starting a blogger's fantasy league??  That is, if we have a season...

According to NBC sports the lockout is almost over, but I'm still not convinced.  Both sides are still taking hard stances, and both sides need to get over themselves and be less greedy.  I would like to see the minimum yearly salary raised to $600k a year, and the maximum yearly salary lowered down to $3 million a year.  This would still be grossly overpaid, but cut personnel costs down 65%.  Then, owners would be able to pay non-player personnel more livable wages, cut overall ticket prices drastically, and still let them make insane profits.

We are almost getting into preseason time.  How are teams supposed to shake off the rust?  Granted, I'm a Panthers fan and we have a LOT of rust to shake off, but I'd still like to see them play 16 games (even if they end up losing 15 of them...)

Bring on the football.  My Sundays are boring.


Have you had "The Talk" with your children?

This.  Is amazing.

Oh, and Han Shot First.  The end.

Sorry lady.  He does that...


Meet Melody

With my new job, I spend a lot of time on the road and away from home.  Because of this, my girlfriend has had some sleepless nights.  She wanted to get a dog to help her feel more secure, and after some hesitation I agreed.

(My original argument was 'get a gun.'  Why?  You don't have to feed a gun anything but bullets, and they don't poop in the yard...)

After a long week in Montana, I came home to a black German Shepherd named Princess.  She's 18 months old, fairly trained, really sweet, and one sharp cookie.

Except... Princess.  What a lame name...

After some consideration, the gf picked Melody.  I preferred Gir, but that's just me.

Melody is very well-behaved, and just needs a little more training before she's the perfect dog.  Unlike the Miles experiment, this dog may just work out for us.  She wants to socialize with the cats, but not eat them.  The cats are adjusting better with Mel than they did with Miles, so I'm quite pleased.

My one complaint really isn't a true complaint, but she's definitely mommy's girl.  She still needs an escort outside to potty, because she has some major separation-issues.  I take her outside and she'll do her business, UNLESS the gf is home.  Then it has to be her.

I almost wanted to name her Shadow, because she shadows my gf around everywhere.  It makes sense, since they were alone together for two days before I came home, but she's still not adjusting to me as fast as she is to 'mommy.'

Since I'm back in the pet industry, this pooch is going to be spoiled.  She's eating a premium food (which is good, because she was anorexic-thin when we got her...), getting all the coolest toys and treats, and will always have the best of the best.

Best of all, Miles didn't last 3 days before he overwhelmed us.  Melody is on day 5 and things are good.

I think it's official... I have a dog.  Well, not exactly.  The girlfriend has a dog.  Maybe I'll eventually get one of my own?  We will see.

If I ever get a dog specifically for me, he's going to have to be a consummate road dog.

awwwww yeah....


Politically Incorrect Teddy Bears Part II

As mentioned in Politically Incorrect Teddy Bears (part one) you can now buy a mormon missionary costume for your Build A Bear.  These costumes are available only in the Salt Lake City market, but guess what???  I go to SLC for work now.

Which means....

Yes, I went to the Salt Lake Build-a-Bear, and purchased a small handful of these outfits.   Why?

Because I want to do a giveaway.

If mormons make you snicker, feel free to enter the giveaway.  I will ship you the outfit, and you can dress up your little bear as a missionary, going door to door, spreading the message from the book of mormon.  Or you can make it a mormon voodoo doll.  Whatever floats your boat.


Follow me on twitter and facebook.
Comment below, saying what you would do with this costume.
Tweet about the giveaway, linking to this site and using the hashtag #mormonbear

Up to 4 ways to get into the contest!  Good luck!  Entries must be submitted by Saturday July 23rd, as the winner will be announced Sunday.


My Own Private Montana

My job has me traveling the northwest throughout five states.  I have been labeled as a 'road warrior' and the title fits me well.  I drive between 500 and 1200 miles a week, and am quickly becoming a hotel-room aficionado.

I have touched every state in my territory except Nevada, and my favorite so far is Montana.  It's also a royal pain in the ass.

Why?  Montana is fucking huge.

Butte.  Billings.  Bozeman.  Helena.  Great Falls.  Missoula.  All major cities in my area, but all SO FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!!  Cities are spread 100-200 miles apart it seems, which gives Montana the name "Big Sky Country."  When you're driving, you don't see a lot of buildings or homes.  It's farmland, mountains, trees, and sky sky sky...

Speaking of sky, one native told me this:  "Welcome to Montana.  Don't like the weather?  Just wait five minutes."  This saying is so damn fitting.

Driving from city to city, you would watch the sky slowly blacken as thunderstorms roll in.  You would get a lightning show and heavy rain for 5-10 minutes, and then the clouds start to break away and fade.  Another day, the sun would be shining brightly until a sudden hailstorm hits.  3 minutes later it's gone.  It was intimidating at first, but it quickly became entertaining.

The fresh air, the entertaining weather and most of all the Big Sky made Montana a breathtaking experience.  My next trip will still be about business, but I will definitely have to spend some time in tourist mode.

At the end of every out-of-state trip, I'm always glad to see the "Welcome to Idaho" sign.  It's a way of saying 'Welcome Home' and it makes me feel a wave of relief.  With Montana, I was relieved this trip was over (long, intense, and my laptop died) but I can't wait to get back into Montana for some more fun.

I just hope I don't get bludgeoned with hailstones when I go back.




Enjoy.  It's catchy, and I'll be singing it all weekend.

My manic montana marathon

Four days in Montana.  Broken laptop, horrible cellular coverage, inability to call out, and lumpy beds galore.

On my way home this morning.  Montana is a gorgeous state, if you don't mind five-minute thunder and hail storms.   Fun state, not a fun trip.

Back to normal program tomorrow, when I have access to a working computer.


Dear Netflix: OH NO YOU DI'INT!!!

Like over 24 million of you, I have Netflix and have enjoyed it for over 2 years.  I love the DVD's but primarily use the streaming feature.  Being able to watch movies, television shows, and obscure B-movie boob-fests make me smile.

I watch Doctor Who.  I watch Bebe's Kids.  SNL.  Comedy routines.  All the old 007 movies.  All thanks to Netflix.

Now, I'm shopping around.  Netflix has pissed me off.

Like the other 24+ million, I recently received an email regarding a change to their pricing structure.  This is either the 2nd or 3rd change to their program since the beginning of the year, and this is the straw that broke this camel's back:

$1 a month price hike?  That I can understand.  $2?  Pushing it, but ok.  Service is good, and the variety makes up for the higher price.

$5 a month?  An extra $60 a year?  I'm sorry, for that extra price I better get something else for my money.  Something 'above and beyond' like a hand job or a free puppy.  (or puppies that give happy endings?  too far?)

In my opinion, this is pure greed.  The change is going into effect on September 1st, so at this point I'm looking at August 31 as my last day with my current Netflix plan.  Will I go to streaming only?  Reduce down to only 1 DVD at a time?  Or will I just give them the goodbye finger, and move to blockbuster?  Hulu?

Time will tell.  All I know right now is the blowback from consumers is getting fierce.  Twitter was buzzing all night Tuesday night, and bloggers (including yours truly) are foaming at the mouth.

Bad move, Netflix.  Bad move.  I hope you see a mass exodus, and I hope your competition comes out with a smokin "FUCK YOU" deal.  I'll be laughing as I take my business elsewhere.  For me, I'll be marking 8/31 on my calendar as "Byebye Netflix Day."


Behold: The power of the mustache

I wish I could grow a beard or a mustache.

Don't get me wrong, I have facial hair.  It just never thickens up.  I just look... shaggy.

It's kind of sad, actually.  I could tell people I choose to not have facial hair, and in a lot of ways, that's true.  But to not have the option is kind of depressing.

To think, if I had a mustache, I could do THIS:



When Capitalism and Patriotism are combined with Laziness

Earlier in my blogging career, I did a post talking about patriotism, and what this country means to me.  In it, I mentioned the fact that all my neighbors had flags posted in their yards for President's Day.  This was also true during Memorial Day, the 4th of July, or any other holiday that could be deemed patriotic.

It wasn't until Independence Day when I found out why.

A group of us were sitting around on the 4th, doing a little in-home celebrating instead of the Melaleuca-sponsored "Worship Us" fireworks show.  I watched as this pickup truck drove down the street, scooping up each and every flag on this street.  An older gentleman would hop out of his truck, wearing overalls with no shirt, and a ratty old cowboy hat.  He'd take each flag, roll it up, and toss it into the back of his truck before driving down to the next one.

I asked one of my houseguests "What the heck is he doing?" and was told about the local 'Rent-a-Flag' service in town.  Apparently, for a price, you can pay someone to come to your house and plant a flag in your yard, making it look like you're patriotic.

I was stunned.

Yes, for only $5 you can show how
much you love your country...
I mean, I know Old Navy has been profiting on people's sense of USA Pride for years, but paying someone to post a flag in your yard?  That just seems absurd.

Yet, it's a perfect example of capitalism.  Someone saw a market for lazy people wanting to show their pride, and capitalized on it.  It takes this guy 15 seconds to unfurl a flag and put it in your yard.  Another 15 seconds that evening to take it down.  And HOW MUCH is he charging??  When you can get 5-10 people per block, and x amount of blocks, I could see the windfall profits.

What amuses me is this:  I was actually considering buying a flag, getting a bracket to mount it on the side of my house, and showing my patriotism like a good little citizen.  I would be a little different, since most people have the ground stakes around here and mine would be on the side of the house.  Now I'm not sure if I want to, because this fool will drive down the street, think my flag is one of his, and drive off with it.

Then again, I'd get it back on the next holiday, wouldn't I?

Now don't get me wrong, I believe in capitalism, and support entrepreneurship as much as the next guy.  Yet, marketing against someone to be as lazy as possible seems a little... I dunno... immoral.  It doesn't seem as bad as fast food chains cutting costs by frying everything in cheap, fatty oils, but at the same time it's promoting the notion of "You don't need to do it.  Here, let me do it for you."

Something like letting me build you a website because you don't understand?  Ok.  Taking a car to a mechanic because they're too complicated to fix yourself?  I get that.  Paying a guy to take out a flag and put it in your yard, and remove it before sunset?  My 4-year old nephew could easily do that.  Why am I going to pay someone else to do it??

And why didn't I think of it first??