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8/24/12

The Best $10 I Have Ever Spent

When I was a kid, this was simply called 'being an asshole.'  Today it is referred to as 'trolling.'

Either way, this is hilarious, and I have to share this story with you.

I spend a lot of time on the road, and have found a love with Buffalo Wild Wings.  I can get a good cheap lunch/dinner there, and the atmosphere is fun.

I probably spend about 2-3 nights a month at various Buffalo Wild Wings locations in Montana and Idaho.

One of the fun aspects of BWW is the fact they have a jukebox.  At any time, you can go to the jukebox and change the house music to any tune you like, as long as it is on the playlist.

This day, I was bored and none of the sports channels were catching my eye.  The place was packed:  Girls' Night Out group, a table full of Air Force dudes in camo, and families all over the place.

I decided to people watch, and use the jukebox as my wingman.

The cost is $1 per song, and I put in a ten dollar bill.  The first song I picked was a bar standard, something current and 'pop-ish,' so nobody would notice what I was doing.

I found Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' and selected it.  Over and over.

The first time it came on, the Girls' Night group let out a "WOOOOO!!!" and danced at their table.  Nobody else really paid attention.

The second time it came on, a few people giggled.  Maybe this was a glitch...

The third time it came on, people started to groan and grumble.

By the 5th 'Single Ladies' in a row, the natives were getting restless.


When Aerosmith's 'Love in an Elevator' came on, there was a collective sigh of relief from the restaurant.  Some people clapped.  The vein in one Airman's forehead went back down.  People began eating in peace again.

But remember:  Intro song, Single Ladies x5, and Aerosmith.  That's only 7 songs...

...I spent $10...

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!

When Steven Tyler faded out and Beyonce came back with a vengeance, people flipped.

The ladies groaned.

One of the Airmen shouted "OH COME ON!!"

For every one person laughing, there were about 20 people genuinely upset.

And me?  I have a poker face.  I'm just watching, and enjoying the fun social experiment.

Sadly, some of my $10 was wasted, as a manager finally intervened and bypassed the jukebox.  I really didn't mind, since I definitely got my money's worth.

(Sidenote:  I was tempted to use Justin Bieber's 'Baby,' but come on... I'm not THAT big of an asshole!)

(Side sidenote:  I guess I'm not retired yet, here comes Dude Write 11!)
Please Share it! :)

45 witty retorts:

Deb Church said...

That is funny!!! Thank Gawd, you didn't play the Biebs!!! I love going to BWW, eating wings, those yummy buffalo chips dipped in blue cheese dressing and playing trivia. And how about those assholes who play trivia every single night and know all the answers???? So unfair!!!

Andie said...

Oh, that is too funny. I want to try that some day.

Pickleope said...

Is it like nails on a chalkboard in that since you're the one creating the irritating sound, you're immune to it? Because you had to sit there and endure that song over and over as well.
I can't believe it took the manager that long to intervene.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Sort of immune, but I knew the joke behind the song. I was too busy listening to the reactions and cursing to even notice Beyonce's shrieking.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

What about those who know all the answers but never play?

CrazyTragicAlmostMagic said...

That's pretty funny. I think after 2x any song gets annoying. And that one. Five times?? You have a future in torture.

Random Girl said...

I love the subtle ways that you find to mess with people. I love to observe how people react in annoying situations, a stealth video of this would have been priceless.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

I tried to make a video with my phone, but there was no good way to zoom or capture audio. That, and it was obvious who did it (the dude with the camera...)

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

A lot of bars have it too. There's a redneck bar in town, and I'm half-tempted to put a $20 block of Reggae-ton on it.

Sean Jeffries said...

So simple, so devious, so awesome. I'd have paid $10 just to have been there seeing the crowd's reaction!

MyWittySn said...

I totally love you for this. So something I would do. I used to hang out at a very questionable pool hall in high school and EVERY time before I left, I would put in money to play the whole New Kids On The Block album. I have no idea why it was in there, and I never stayed to hear it. But I would smile on the way home knowing that everyone was about to be super annoyed. I finally gave in and taught some of my biker buddies where the skip button on the back of the machine was. I'm only half an asshole.

Lady Estrogen said...

That's great - I love it when you're an asshole!

MyWittySn said...

This is sporkgasm by the way. I don't know why it keeps going to my other name. I am a computard.

Adsila said...

I love the way you messed with the crowd and just sat back and watched.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I hope I'm never included in one of your social experiments. I have a low threshold for pain.

WilyGuy said...

The Dude-Badassador speaks... people listen!

Sidenote: those aren't really on the side...

That experiment sounds like a lot of fun. I might try to play a different theme like switch genres radically (if the library allows). Fun post.

Joseph Cereola said...

That was a fun $10.

Jewels said...

That. Is. Awesome.


That's it really...that is hilarious.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Better than lottery tickets or internet porn, for sure.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Bottom note?


Library, go to the computer lab, go to Pandora. Turn on banjo music and RUN.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Since my next experiment involves S&M, I'll count you out.

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Well hi!


And yeah, assholes of a feather... we're both brilliantly evil...

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Feel free to try it yourself, anywhere where there is a jukebox. You WILL NOT be disappointed!

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Almost did "Devil Went Down to Georgia" ad nauseum. Beyonce was just too rich to pass up though...

d_4 said...

Ah dude.. Yes. I love you, I laughed. And I really, really needed that.

Joe said...

this joke is completely ripped off of John Mulaney's "Best Meal I ever had"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rqQujx9vk0&feature=related

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Whoa... you're right. And I've never heard of this dude before, so the coincidence is blowing my mind.


Especially since I have done this more than once. Great minds think alike??

Sweety Darlin said...

OMG I have to go do this now! We just got a BWW in our town and there is a person working there that I actually do not like AT ALL! SO......

TORTURE TIME!

I think I will try the BABY BABY BABYBAAAABYYYY BAAAABBBBYYYY trick! I hate that song.

Of course that might backfire so maybe Goutey or whatever that song is.

Kid-FreeLiving said...

HIlarious - but only #5 on the list of why I don't eat at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Michael said...

Our local 'pop' radio station uses this same tactic... playing the same songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over (<--- see what I did there?) and over again. So I think I might be immune to this line of torture, but I approve this message.


Well played Brandon... well played.


Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination

Daniel Nest said...

My kind of fun! Well played sir, well played!

Thank, Q said...

My only wish is that someone could have captured this on video. Of course you didn't want to get busted or beaten down, but still.... that's YouTube gold! I can't wait to try this!

Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom said...

I love this! You could have totally incited a riot had you played The Macarena over and over. I love to mess with people too. This is right up my alley.

Michele said...

I never go out. But now I have an excuse to. Thanks for that. :D

Brandon from lostinidaho.me said...

Bring singles! Good for strippers, good for jukeboxes!

Kianwi said...

So simple, yet evily hilarious :) I have no poker face whatsoever, so I would have blown it in the first play of the song.

Who Woulda Thought? said...

Wow, I love to people watch but you my friend are a sadistic asshole. Kudos!

Brett Minor said...

I love it. It is usually me that pulls those stunts. In fact, any time anything goes wrong, they usually look my direction. I will be trying this one out.

Red said...

(That's just what I was thinking.)

Red said...

You had me at "Buffalo Wild Wings". Although I was into the trivia stuff more than the jukebox, that is a wicked stunt! I would totally assume someone was being sneaky and observing reactions. Well played.

jamie Hawkins said...

Ha ha ha!...this made me laugh...a lot...there's no way I could've kept a straight face in this situation. No doubt I would probably have been busted by the third play and the Forces guys would've flushed my head down the toilet....wouldn't be the first time...
Great post Dude...
Jamie

ken said...

I'd like to think that I'd be having a blast while this was happening watching the people squirm. But then, that is an awful lot of Beyonce to endure.

Nellie Vaughn said...

I think I just fell in love with you. I lol'd. Seriously and literally. I don't fuck around with 'literally.'

Orlando Arguello said...

Yo, you made me laugh my ass off. Good job, man. Great way to clear the place out XD

Vivian Pitschlitz said...

I admire you I don't have poker face EVERYBODY would have known it was me because I would be giggling so much.

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