Back in 2011, I wrote a post about silly Vagina names. It was my first Half-assed weekend post (copyright The Simple Dude, I think, probably not, but maybe) and I just popped out something silly.
I compiled the list from a trending twitter hashtag, and then coming up with some 'original' ones as well (based on what I read). It probably took about 10 minutes to throw everything together, and it's somehow been viewed almost 13,000 times. It's my 7th most popular post ever.
It turns out some of those names were used before me on another blog back in 2009. And this guy apparently owns those phrases, so he commented on my blog. And then found me on twitter. He threatened to call the cyber police.
I was shaking in my boots.
But then I noticed something, looking at his twitter account:
This is all he does now. His blog hasn't had a new post since 2011 (or maybe he's just dating things as 'old?' I can actually change the 'post date' on this blog post to look like I wrote it in 1980 if I wanted to...) and all he does on Twitter these days is harass other people for "stealing his content."
He ran out of witty things to say, so he's fiercely protecting what little he has. It's kind of cute, like a starving wild animal hoarding it's last sliver of food...
But if this guy said it before you did, he gets upset. You stole his intellectual property and he'll come after you. Consequences will never be the same. (not my original content, please don't sue me...)
I know for a fact that I'm not the first person in existence to fuck my cat with a q-tip to get her to shut up. But because I was the first to write about it on the internet, I must have invented it, right?
IF ANYONE ELSE MASTURBATES THEIR CAT WITH A COTTON SWAB, I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.
And to the person on 4chan who made the trollface and all the other memes I use from time to time, I'm sorry for 'stealing' your precious work. But feel free to assume it's memegenerator that invented those, instead of just mainstreaming them...
What I'm trying to get at is nothing is 'original' on the internet. Something you do will be shared, often without someone giving credit where credit is due. Even the things I discuss aren't original. Someone somewhere at some point has had the same experiences. I don't claim anything.
But this scrub still boggles my mind. Imagine if every comic in existence decided to copyright their act, word for word... and every time anyone says anything they'd get sued or threatened. And every amateur trying to be original did the same...
I would never be able to say "bite me" because some kid in the 1940's said it first. He owns that phrase, how dare I use it.
Oh well. Out of respect (and to get him to shut up) I deleted the 3 vagina names he 'owns.' Now, if you want to call her pussy 'the down south mouth' you have to have him OK it first. You got that?
...don't fuck with the internet. You will be backtraced...