What I would like to address, however, are the idiots out there who think they are experts.
"If women didn't dress provocatively, maybe there would be less rape..."
"I'm afraid to take out the trash after sunset because I might be raped."
"The BBC exec was a rapist and molester... maybe we should have more female execs, since you never hear about women rapists..."
"I should be able to wear whatever I want; If men can't be trusted, maybe they should be blindfolded!"
Between statements like that and people I know painting with some broad (and odd) brush-strokes, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air.
- Only men are rapists, or
- All men are rapists.
One of my closest college friends worked his way through school, and had a female boss. The boss harassed him, flirted with him, touched him in unwarranted and unwelcomed ways, and eventually fired him because he wouldn't put out.
When he reported the harassment and assault (before AND after his firing) he was laughed at. "Women don't do that" is what he was told. Others said "Nice. She's hot. Why don't you just bang her? You're lucky..."
Just because it's not 50/50 doesn't mean it doesn't go both ways...
And as a male, I think about sex. A lot. If you're attractive, curvy, have a nice personality, or were just plain friendly with me, I have probably imagined you in some sort of sexual way (consciously or subconsciously). Does that mean I want to have sex with you? Not necessarily. Does that mean I'm going to rape you?? Absolutely not. It means I'm a human with hormones and a vivid imagination.
I guarantee there are other men that have sexual thoughts about friends/coworkers/strangers/etc from time to time, if not subconsciously. I guarantee there are plenty of women that do this too, from time to time. We're human. We're primal, sexual beings. But we're also civilized enough to not act on these thoughts.
Hell, I think about flying all the time too. How cool would it be to have the ability to levitate and just 'fly' somewhere you want to go? Have I jumped off the roof in my attempts to fly? No. Why? Because I'm not dumb.
But the internet is also filled with people on soapboxes, claiming to know everything. This is why congressmen think pregnancy via rape can be 'shut down' by a woman's body, and why people fear sexual assault more than they need to. Yes, there are bad people out there, but please don't label me as one of them.
I am a white male. I am not a racist, sexist, bigot or rapist. Are most child molesters, most rapists, most corrupt-politicians, most peophiles, most etc etc etc while males? Probably, depending on what internet statistic you believe, but just because a square is a rectangle doesn't make a rectangle a square.
I am me. When I dress nicely, it's because I want to be noticed. When I dress professionally I want to be seen as a professional. When I dress for the club, I dress to be attractive and to be desired. I want you drooling for a piece of me. Do you do the same thing? I don't know. I'm me, you're you.
With that said, if you're desirable you're probably going to be desired. If you're attractive people are bound to be attracted to you. That doesn't mean you're going to be raped, that doesn't mean you are seen simply as a sexual object, and most importantly, THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS OF A HUMAN BEING. Male or female. Be smart, be safe, but stop being so judgmental and paranoid.